Loving my Best Friend Better

With a very active 19 month old and being almost 8 months pregnant, the time that my husband and I have together is precious.  By the time that he comes home from work, dinner is made and eaten, my husband uses the next piece of time to play and love on our daughter before she gets her bath and heads to bed.  I typically use this time to sit and relax or finish up something that just wsa not going to get done while my daughter was still my focus.  It’s kind of like our “hand off” of the relay.  I’m home with our daughter all day so we both want her to have that precious daddy time before bed.  And she adores it.

But with that, the time that we have as a couple becomes minimal.  Once in my daughter is in bed, both of us exhausted from the day, will try to do some sort of work out, or read a book, or on some nights just zone to whatever television show happens to be on that night.  Last night was much of the same as I read while my husband worked out, then grabbed a book of his own.  I began to head to bed, when I opted instead to come back out and join Kyle on the couch.  I had finished my own book, so I laid down next to him and just enjoyed being with him.  It was in those moments that I was convicted to pray for Kyle.

What does it mean to pray for your husband (or wife)?  It means not focusing on the laundry list that has or hasn’t been done.  It means not thinking about what you need from your spouse but rather thanking God for the blessing that they are and praying that God revel how you can be a better spouse to them.

There is a printable bookmark that can be found on imom.com  It simply says:

I pray for my husband’s relationship with God.
I pray that God would bless my husband.
I pray for my husband to be a spiritual leader for our family.
I pray for my husband to love me deeply.
I pray for my husband to have a heart for his children.
I pray for my husband to make wise choices.
I pray for my husband’s emotional, mental and physical health.
I pray for my husband to prosper at work.
I pray for my husband’s power to resist sexual temptation.
I pray that I will show my husband respect, grace, and kindness.

10 easy ways to pray for your husband.  I found another prayer by A. Frances Coomes, S.J.  There was one section that stood out to me.

“…let me ever be a blessing and a comfort to him, a sharer in all his sorrows, a consolation in all the accidents and trials of life”  (http://www.faithandfamilylive.com/blog/a_prayer_for_your_husband1/)

I love the wording in this because it brings to mind the trials that are bound to happen throughout life and instead of complaining or becoming overwhelmed by them, this prayer asks that I (as the wife) be a blessing and a comfort to him as we share in the trials.

Kyle and I have been blessed to only have experienced minor trials in the (almost) 4 years of marriage.  Sure, we fight, but we also have learned how to work through problems and arguments (sometimes more rationally than others).  But there is another part of being aware of what your spouse needs to be reminded that you love them.

Kyle’s love language is almost completely quality time.  Where I can list out several for myself in the order they present themselves the most (gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch…), to show Kyle love means to give him your time.  That’s what my focus was last night.  We weren’t having deep discussions, we weren’t having to do anything.  All I had to do was come and sit with him.

I am blessed to have married my best friend.  He is the person in the world that I miss the most when I’m not with him (even if just for a day).  I can talk to him freely and openly about literally anything.  We have deep meaningful discussions and we have moments that most would consider childish and immature (but they’re fun and usually funny–at least to us).  I adore watching him with our daughter and look forward to seeing him become an even better daddy once our second daughter is born in a couple months.  I recognize that my own foolish desires almost kept me from even meeting this amazing man that God had planned and prepared just for me and it was by God’s grace that we met, fell in love, and were married.  Now I am so honored to have him as the leader of our family and to watch in amazement and pride as he grows in this role.

Your spouse is a gift and so often we treat them more like an unmet expectation.  I pray that as our family grows, that Kyle and I’s love continues to grow.  I pray that we continue to appreciate the little things about each other and not take one another for granted.  I pray that we have a Godly marriage that our girls will be able to look to for inspiration and guidance when they find someone of their own.  This is my prayer for my husband, today and each day of our lives.

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